Between you and me...
nad wif her never ending cocky face.
mickey trying to snap her own pic.
(actualli, we're taking each other's face;
she and me)
could see all the fear written on shu hua's face
right before watching haunted school. and what
is it now, nad? haha!
act like camera shy meh! simply look like a mouse.
okay,tis is funny. a man. an old man to be precise.
refused to sit down though they're tonnes of vacant
seats. he stood there and slept throughout the
journey. cute though. swinging round and round.
happy pills ? HAHA!(spell it out. "H. A. H. A")
nad with her million dollar look after 8 hrs of
day out with me. career woman.
phrase of the day;
"kalau da jodoh, takkan ke mane"
(translated in English; accrding to pear
"if u're meant for each other,
then start planning ur wedding vows")
J.K.J.K..H.A.H.A.K.Z (spell it out)
after all, i had a great day. thanks to that lady who nvr failed to encourage me buying new clothes and that cute little mouse with the below bleeding. someone's below is bleeding. oops. did i just say, vaginal talkings. its okay, it happens only once in a month. simply endure for 5days and u'll be alright. my turn will come soon, u noe. borriiiinng.. glad that everybody's fine. glad that we're safely home from the town area. hurhur. take care buddies.
s|t|`f4|rUz-
at 10:30:00 PM
Between you and me...
i donnoe what did i do until he treats me this way. wondering how some people can simply move on without thinking about other people's feelings. who was the one who gave lots of promises in the past? who was the one who asked me to wait for him? who was the one who said he'd want to grow old with me? and now what? yea, i understand ure having a great time now. the problem wif you now is, u've forgotten about me. in the past, u got no one. no one at all. but now u've gotten everything. u've got wat u've been dying for. u're a sgt now. u've got lots of brothers now.
u dont care about me anymore. u dont even give a damn whether im alive or not. u did not spare a thought for me. u're so mean. selfish. ego. unfair.u're not the zulhairi i used to know. here i am, waiting for you day and night. wishing that u'd message me.wishing that u'd still remember that we're 19th mth old. wishing that u'd change back to the old zulhairi. but to no avail. every single night, i hug patrick tightly. thought of giving u a chance. again and again. every single night i read the letters from you. hoping that u'd be the same old zulhairi. every single night i'd look at those pictures we taken together, hoping that one day we'd be like that again.
i dont noe whats wrong with you. i waited for u for more than 8 months alrdy. but what did i get in return? sorrow and sadness? continuous suffer and heartache? u didnot show a single bit of love towards me anymore. u dont miss me. u dont love me anymore. u dont even care about those happy days we used to have in the past. those days we cooked and eat together. those days when we sat together watching tv, watching vcds, surfing the net, playing with cats, teasing each other, laughed at each other's silliness, writing letters to each other even though we're just sitting side by side..
Have u ever thought about those little things i've done for you? Have you? Have you?u're driving me to grave. i just dont understand why every time when u're at home, u'll refuse to sms me or watsoever. u'll just disappear. why are u always cheating my feelings? why must i have to wait for u, always? why must i suffer just to be happy wif you? why must i be the one who cry every night, missing those days when we're together? why am i only the one who is concerned about our relationship? why am i always the one who has to give in? tell me, is there any gerl in this world who could stand being treated like a pile of shit?? i didnot mind at all when u didnt give me anyting for valentine's day.
in fact, i've bought a bloody present for u. i've had gone to ur place before when u refused to accept my apology. simply to console and comfort u. but u asked me to go home. i made a bloody scrap book for our very first anniversary. but what did i get in return? i've done every single thing u asked me to do. u asked me to perm my hair. which i did. in fact, i shud thank you for saying i was bigger in size than u five years ago. Coz, u're the one who motivated me to lose weight.its all you. why must it be you?im always there to listen to what u gonna say. but why u're treating me this way? im suffering too okay. i've been tearing every night. im always sleepy but i cant sleep. Yea, i noe what u gonna say; " ITS NOT ME WHO ASKS U TO CRY ".
But have u ever thought who was the one who caused me to suffer so much?? I've been gorging myself wif food lately coz i want so much to overcome my feeling of missing you.sometimes i wonder, how on earth i could put on a happy face while deep in my heart im longing to be happy with you once again. i dont care what u gonna say after reading my entry. i've never been given a chance to tell you how i've been feeling all this while. whenever i want to tell you, u'll say "its not the time to talk abt it" "its up to u". I realli hate those phrases. it realli shows u didnt care about me. UP TO U. everything UP TO U. When u're away during Taiwan Trip, i counted down the days impatiently. But what did i get when u return from Taiwan? A stone face with no talkings? All i get is ignorance. u've forgotten about me, zulhairi. u have no feelings at all.
why did i fall in love wif u in the first place? why cant i forget about u no matter how hard i try? why cant other guys melt my heart just like u do? why cant my heart thump faster when it comes to other guys? why must it be you? why did i let u hold my hand on that bloody 30th july 2005? but why must u do this to me? are you happy to know that theres one silly gerl crying for you? are you glad to see that theres one gerl who's gonna die because of u? u make me want to die. u make me want to end my life.im done. i just hope that one day u'll realise ur mistake and perhaps, u'll regret for once. i noe u're getting bored of me. u're always like that. u'll nvr change. come to me when u nid me. throw me away when u dont nid me anymore. thank u very much. i realli appreciate that. if u wan to say u pampered me too much that caused me to become spoilt then i guess u're wrong. coz i tink, im de one hu has been pampering u too much until u take me for granted.
go find a gerl who would want to go to ur house and give u a bear just to cheer u up. go find a gerl who could accept that her boyfren doesnt want to meet her. go find a gerl who would go to ur house and celebrate ur b'dae. go find a gerl who could tolerate ur character. go find a gerl who would do every single thing u ask her to do. go find a gerl who would prepare a card just to wish u happy 18th mth. go find a gerl who could stand it when her boyfren fall asleep when messaging her almost every nite. go find a gerl who could bear not talk to her boyfren for 5weeks. go find a gerl who could willingly forgive u again and again despite knowing that u'd do the same old mistake again and again. think abt it. u're using 'NS' as a reason to get away from me. u're so selfish. its realli hard for u to lift up ur fingers, sms me and say tht u miss me. its bloody tiring when u're with me. its bloody boring when it comes to meeting me. its bloody sleepy when it comes to talk to me. no gerls can tolerate when they're being ignored by their boyfren for almost a week. yea, no point ranting about the past.
thanks, zulhairi. u made me feel like a piece of useless shit. u can say im self-centered. but plz, just give me a minute. a minute will do. think about me just for a minute of your precious resting time. im utterly disappointed in u. u're a sgt now, and u've forgotten about me. mean. u made me cry silently and because of the way u treat me, i hate myself. im not trying to sound desperate here. im trying to let things go slowly. cul-de-sac. i'll try to take things easy when it comes to u, just like u do. i simply dont understand whats going on.. if u've got no more feelings for me. simply be frank. quit playing wif my bloody heart coz i dun tink i deserve to be cheated. so much for my first love. true love? hah. 4 years of waiting, 19 mths of relationship, 8 months of endurance.
s|t|`f4|rUz-
at 11:30:00 PM
Between you and me...
im bored. nothing to do. so here i am. not
gonna update abt my life. just pictures.
me and dan and dan's bike. the very first bike
i had ever being a pillion?? . . . .
reached ecp. he posed.
she posed.
and his foot got bitten by a fish??
and there goes the transplanted boy.
looking cocky.
yeyey! fishes!
actualli we were looking at a sting ray. abg sap
caught a sting ray. at e.c.p, mind you.
so be careful when u're swimming ther.
cheers to the skimmers.
*hohoho*
they're cute.
the hunks.
damn cute that boy.
we gerls have to be modest.
no more straight hair, princess? haha!
*princess, ur foot eh?:P*
sometimes, we have to pamper ourselves. no
roses from ur beloved ones, get a rose for urself.
im moving on. wish me luck everybody.
he's lost in action. done. may he lead a happy life.
pissed off,
ctfairuz.
s|t|`f4|rUz-
at 12:08:00 AM
Between you and me...
i've always wanted to make my parents proud of me. all this while, it seems that my siblings are soaring yet im sinking. however, i should be thankful that i passed my o lvls and for once, made my parents proud. it was like a dream to see my name being flashed on the screen of the powerpoint slide. but, grades are just an illusion to make someone become complacent. shit. soon my tertiary education will be commencing. wonder how it wud be to be in a completely new environment without all my friends around me. good friends. gonna miss them so much. hold on, im missing them already. heh. no more crapness we used to share. no more giggles when we gossiped about those ard us. no more tears of joy when we laughed our ass out about some stupid lame old jack ass jokes. heh. wish me luck, everybody. =)
the quarrelsome. the one who threw water to
my direction because me and the twosome
5 years gone just like that. Tis pic was taken when
i was sec 1? At Sentosa. I didnt know that Linda
i was sec 1? At Sentosa. I didnt know that Linda
used to be my friend. hee heee.
its not like everyday saz could get in
gerls toilet feeling paranoid. and the
gerls toilet feeling paranoid. and the
four of us will nvr be like that again.
and its not very usual to see my
carrying this legendary bag. Haa haa!
and its not like eveyday we could sit all day long
learning nothing except talkings and eating sweets
and realised that, it was already time to go home. ;)
and realised that, it was already time to go home. ;)
the quarrelsome. the one who threw water to
my direction because me and the twosome
made alot of noise. hahaha! Daring eh?
when the whole class sulked like Min the bunga.
got on a strike. all of us. hoo hoo.
s|t|`f4|rUz-
at 1:17:00 PM
